That's like robbing Paul to pay for Peter (stop the intercourse here at home)

"Drugs? Nude massages? Is it getting to where you can't tell the Protestant clergy from a Catholic priest?." --Bill Maher

"They say (Haggard) used church funds to pay for the male prostitute. That's like robbing Paul to pay for Peter." --Jay Leno

"MSNBC is reporting that the average poll worker for this Tuesday's election will be 72, and that many seniors are not comfortable with computerized voting, which explains why the projected winner is expected to be Franklin Delano Roosevelt." --Conan O'Brien

"The Bush administration is now spending tens of millions of dollars on an ad campaign to convince unmarried adult Americans to stop having sex. So, we're trying to stay the course in Iraq and stop the intercourse here at home." --Jay Leno

she had to ask the male hooker to pass the potatoes

"This week President Bush is planning to attend a two-day NATO summit to discuss strategies for the war in Afghanistan. President Bush will be giving a speech called "Strategies, Who's Got One?'" --Conan O'Brien

"First Daughter Barbara Bush had her purse stolen. Somebody snatches her purse. What was in that purse, her father's plan for Iraq. Now we have to start all over again. A lot of people wondering if President Bush will be mad at his daughter for losing her purse. Hey, he lost the House and Senate." --Jay Leno

"The pastor, Ted Haggard, had a big Thanksgiving dinner at his house, it was a little awkward for the wife though, especially when she had to ask the male hooker to pass the potatoes." --Jay Leno