I never thought you would be the first (Stop! I’m the wrong woman!)

"While criticizing President Obama during an interview on 'Good Morning America' this week, Rudy Giuliani said, 'We had no domestic attacks under Bush.' You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first." -Seth Meyers

A funeral home in Canada is reportedly under investigation after they cremated the wrong woman’s body. Even after she told them, “Stop! I’m the wrong woman!” --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Bob Dylan and Keith Richards (three séances)

Analysts are speculating that communication between Donald Trump and his campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, has become practically nonexistent. They say if she spoke to Trump any less, they’d be married. –Conan O’Brien

A new report in Indiana has found that thousands of dead people are still registered to vote. Which explains why today, Donald Trump held four rallies and three séances. –Conan O’Brien

The Vatican has issued new guidelines on cremation, saying Catholics must bury the ashes in a cemetery. Which is too bad, because I wanted my ashes to be a secret ingredient on the show “Chopped.” –Conan O’Brien