I didn’t know she gave speeches (What day is it?)

According to Forbes magazine, in the past year Taylor Swift has earned $170 million. When she heard that, Hillary Clinton said, "I didn’t know she gave speeches." –Conan O’Brien

"A powerful storm in Washington, D.C. knocked over a 100-year-old Elm tree on the White House lawn. President Bush was not hurt because he was playing in a different tree at the time." --Conan O'Brien

Marvel announced that the next Iron Man will be an African-American woman. However, in keeping with Hollywood tradition, she will still be played by Robert Downey Jr. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." (Robert Downey Jr.)

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien

Marvel announced that the next Iron Man will be an African-American woman. However, in keeping with Hollywood tradition, she will still be played by Robert Downey Jr. –Conan O’Brien

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, "The Republican Nominee is WHO?" –Conan O’Brien