"It's been a very
busy and somewhat disturbing day throughout the world. President Bush was
overseas in Germany as events unfolded. Here is his press conference with
Chancellor Angela Merkel in Germany where he wasted no time addressing the many
troubling developments [on screen: Bush saying, 'I'm looking forward to the
feast you're going to have tonight. I understand I may have the honor of
slicing the pig']. He may have the honor of slicing the pig? I'm just going to
assume that is some euphemism for solving the Middle East crisis" --Jon Stewart
"It's hard to say
you're sorry, especially when you're infallible. But by last weekend, Benedict
offered these words of apology. He's sorry that people felt bad. That's known
in Vatican terminology as a 'me-a-kinda.' It's a time-honored tradition in the
Catholic Church dating back to the Inquisition when Pope Innocent IV said, 'We
deeply regret the fact that so many non-believers happen to be
flammable'." --Jon Stewart
