Paris's maximum capacity is 500 members

"Paris Hilton is more popular than Congress. And, like Congress, Paris's maximum capacity is 500 members." –Conan O'Brien





"The Republican Presidential candidates have really been fighting for attention this week. In fact, Rick Perry proposed cutting the president's salary in half. Yeah, Perry was like, 'What do I care? It's not like it'll affect me!'" –Jimmy Fallon



"In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part." –Jimmy Fallon



John Hulse painting

I'm just glad they weren’t awake to see the collision

"In last night's 50th Annual Congressional Baseball Game the Democrats beat the Republicans 8-2. Both parties say these games are important because it shows the American people that they can really get along and accomplish something when it's meaningless." –Jay Leno



"Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger for starring in an upcoming western 'The Last Stand.' It’ll probably be good for you to shoot some blanks for awhile." –Jimmy Fallon 



"Two Delta planes collided on the runway in Boston. The passengers are all OK, except for Delta’s $50 collision fee. The air traffic controllers were just glad they weren’t awake to see the collision." –Jimmy Fallon 



John Hulse photography