I’ve had these speeches memorized since I was six (fermented palm sap)

Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. Parents will say, "These giant teacups are spinning too fast," and the kids will be like, "We are not even on the ride yet." --Jimmy Fallon

A new study says that chimpanzees occasionally drink too much fermented palm sap, which causes them to act drunk. Researchers could tell the chimps were drunk when one of them suggested karaoke.—Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump criticized Hillary Clinton over the weekend, claiming that her views are “just words” read off a teleprompter. But Hillary denied it, saying, “I’ve had these speeches memorized since I was six.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”