She's in first place with a 37% blood alcohol level (if you bring a Subway token, they'll let you play first base)

According to a recent poll, Kamala Harris is now favored to become the Democratic Party's 2028 presidential nominee. She's in first place with a 37% blood alcohol level. —Tom Shillue

A 35-year-old Australian man died after the third fatal shark attack in the same area this month. To stay safe, officials are reminding people to always swim with a fat buddy. —Tom Shillue

And finally, a New York Knicks ticket for game three of the NBA Finals is going for $51,000. Meanwhile, the New York Mets say if you bring a Subway token, they'll let you play first base. —Tom Shillue 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”