The opposite of what America does (I don't recall giving you the day off)

"Scientists are saying that a giant asteroid could strike the earth in 2182, and that it could decimate the planet and destroy most forms of life. A spokesman for British Petroleum said, 'Been there, done that.'" –Craig Ferguson

"A candidate for governor in Arkansas has revealed he used to be a male stripper. The stripper-turned-candidate is encouraging everyone to head to the polls next Tuesday. And also to go out and vote." –Craig Ferguson

"The American government has shut down. Who do you think you are? You work for us. I don't recall giving you the day off." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”