whenever I leave a house I go out through the window (I haven’t seen it all month)

I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts, but I only need them when I read. So I got flip ups. I keep them on my desk right next to my typewriter. I have the oldest typewriter in the entire world. It types in pencil. --Steven Wright

I've never seen electricity that's why I don’t pay for it. I write on the bill sorry, I haven’t seen it all month. —Steven Wright

I was caesarean born. You can't really tell. Although whenever I leave a house I go out through the window. --Steven Wright

I was folding my bed back into coach. I almost broke both my arms cause it’s not one of those kinds of beds. --Steven Wright

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”