The United States has put severe sanctions on his cake (a Jets receiver was actually blown into the end zone)

October 2012

"You know who is celebrating a birthday? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He'll be 55 years old on Sunday. The United States has put severe sanctions on his cake." –David Letterman

"We're in the middle of Hurricane Sandy. So thank you very much for joining us here in the Ed Sullivan Shelter." –David Letterman 

"This storm could mean the biggest power outage since the Yankees in the playoffs." –David Letterman

"It was so windy yesterday that a Jets receiver was actually blown into the end zone." –David Letterman

"Power outages could wreak havoc on Election Day. But don't worry, Republicans have back-up crooked voting machines." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”