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Friday, May 1, 2020

the president calls him Melania (Preventable Apocalypse Now)


“I love the idea that he’s watching late-night television to see if we make jokes about him. Jared, in case you are, here are a few I think you’ll like. Jared Kushner is so dead inside, the president calls him Melania. Jared Kushner looks like if white privilege had a baby with raw cookie dough. Jared Kushner looks like a Pez dispenser of ‘Young Sheldon.’ Even Jared from Subway is like, ‘This Jared gives me the creeps.’” — Jimmy Kimmel

“[imitating Jared Kushner] Yes, it’s a great story. More people dying under this administration in 100 days than died in 20 years of the Vietnam War. That’s a story that needs to be told. Perhaps in the blockbuster movie, ‘Preventable Apocalypse Now.’” — Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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