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Sunday, May 31, 2020

When the Lord taketh a Weiner he giveth a Johnson (and that's just the dedication to his kids)


July 2011

"Ohio Congressman Bill Johnson said his Twitter account was hacked yesterday after an image of a naked man was posted on his page. When the Lord taketh a Weiner he giveth a Johnson." –Jimmy Fallon

"Spain’s running of the bulls is not nearly as scary as the U.S. event, the running of Sarah Palin." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger is working on a memoir. Yeah, it's apparently over 500 pages long — and that's just the dedication to his kids." –Jimmy Fallon

"The Treasury Department is shifting from paper to electronic savings bonds next year. But don't worry — the electronic bonds will be just as worthless as the paper ones." –Jimmy Fallon

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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