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Thursday, March 5, 2020

all Joe Biden has to do is lay low in South America for the next eight months (Campaign-aganza!)


“Joe Biden’s a front-runner now, but it can’t be a great sign that his number one constituency is people who don’t want to see or hear from Joe Biden. Basically all Joe Biden has to do is lay low in South America for the next eight months — he’ll beat Trump in a landslide.” —James Corden

“Biden did so well, he even captured Elizabeth Warren’s home state of Massachusetts, where he did not appear in person. If I’m Elizabeth Warren right now, that’s the last time I campaign coherently. Next time, it’s just going to be ‘Crazy Aunt Lizzie’s No-Malarkey, Stream-of-Consciousness, Folksy-rific Wooden Nickel in Every Garage Campaign-aganza!’” —Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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