"Rumors are that there is a secret tunnel being built under the White House. I think he Obama is building an underground Kenya. A new subterranean land so he can Africanize us from below. I heard that on Fox News." –Jimmy Kimmel
"The White House said that President Obama will not focus on full-time campaigning for a long time. Yeah, he wants to wait a year or two before he gets serious about it — just like he did with being president." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? "Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really." –Jay Leno
"It looks like we're heading for a government shutdown. And you thought Joe Biden had nothing to do before." –Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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