cuz I’m pulling for the country to have a happy ending (if you don’t let him score, you are slapped and then shot)

A Danish political candidate is putting campaign ads on PornHub. The ad placed by candidate Jokke Olsen even included a slogan that translates to, “When you are finished masturbating, vote for Jokke.” Come on, man! You can do better than that. How about, I’ll rub out the deficit, cuz I’m pulling for the country to have a happy ending. --Stephen Colbert

Over the weekend Donald Trump said that Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg looked like Alfred E. Neuman the mascot of Mad Magazine. I see the similarity in that they are both more qualified to be president than Donald Trump. --Stephen Colbert

Russian president Vladimir Putin took part in an annual exhibition hockey game in Sochi, and he reportedly scored eight goals. No surprise. He has an incredible slap shot, where if you don’t let him score, you are slapped and then shot. --Stephen Colbert

A Florida man got a DUI after crashing a lawnmower into a police car. Yet another headline that did not need to specify what state it happened in. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”