when you are really hungry and you want 2,000 of something (You have fallen directly into my trap)

You know you can't you can't please all the people all the time and last night all those people came to my show. --Mitch Hedberg

I can't wait till this set is  over because I have a roll of lifesavers in my pocket and pineapple is next. --Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you are really hungry and you want 2,000 of something. --Mitch Hedberg

I like refried beans. But I would like to try fried beans because maybe they are just as good but we are wasting time. --Mitch Hedberg

I tried to walk into the Target store but I missed. --Mitch Hedberg

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”