They're throwing things at him in the outfield because he's too far away to urinate on (rhymes with nightclub)

The stock market, they have that built-in device, there's some kind of emergency measures, some kind of a circuit breaker kind of thing that prevents the stock market crash, when there's a panic like this from dropping too far. Too bad President Clinton doesn't have one of those for his pants. --David Letterman 10/29/1997

Puff Daddy today was indicted on weapons charges. The trial will begin just as soon as his defense attorney Johnnie Cochran can come up with something that rhymes with nightclub. --David Letterman 1/14/2000

John Rocker says now, he's trying to backpedal from all those ugly remarks he made about New York City. He says it was just retaliation said he was only saying these things because whenever he plays in New York people are throwing things at him. Well okay, that's poor behavior but there's a reasonable explanation for it. They're throwing things at him in the outfield because he's too far away to urinate on. --David Letterman 1/14/2000

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”