That’s like describing repeatedly stabbing somebody as “Torso Ventilation.” (men in tight pants grabbing each other)

Donald Trump is desperate to talk about anything other than the growing legal problems engulfing his presidency. And you can tell because he's picking fights with everyone from France to China to his own former Secretary of State. He's like a feral raccoon trapped in a corner in the attic. If he loses in 2020, they're going to have to chase him out of the Oval Office with a broom. --Seth Meyers

Some juicy details from the Robert Mueller report. For instance, Michael Cohen was in touch as far back as 2015 with a Russian who offered “political synergy” with the Trump election campaign. “Political synergy” is such a nice way to say “colluding to fix the election.” That’s like describing repeatedly stabbing somebody as “Torso Ventilation.” --Stephen Colbert

Vice President Mike Pence won’t be attending the Army-Navy football game. It makes him uncomfortable to watch men in tight pants grabbing each other. --James Corden

A town in Germany is divided over the issue of one woman’s livestock. Apparently this lady puts cow bells on her cows and she is getting complaints that the bells are too loud. It sounds like the neighbors have a beef. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”