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Friday, December 29, 2017

When the classifications Top Secret and Classified don't sound Blofeldian enough (You Don't Know Dick)



"Vice President Dick Cheney is the country's leader in the classification of sciences, as we'll learn once again in tonight's installment of 'You Don't Know Dick.' This is a good one. 

Dick Cheney invented his own top secret style logo that he often stamps on unclassified, internal documents. Is that stamp A) a pentagram, B) Hello Kitty, C) Treated as Secret/SCI. The answer is C. 

For some reason, Cheney actually invented his own fake classification 'Treated as Secret/SCI,' because apparently, the government's own classifications 'top secret' and 'classified' don't sound appropriately Blofeldian. 

The best part is Cheney uses the stamp on things like political talking points for staff members who are going to deal with reporters. In other words, stuff he wants the public to know. Which I'm not sure he understands is the opposite of secret. 

And that's tonight's 'You Don't Know Dick.' Why are we letting a crazy old person run our country? We're asking to be shot in the face." --Jon Stewart

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

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