"We
have a new Pope. His name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio. I think I have his
spaghetti sauce." –David Letterman
"According
to a new survey, the average member of Congress can speak only at a 10th-grade
level. Which is worse than it sounds, because the average 10th grader can speak
only at a 5th-grade level." –Jay Leno
"The Republican National Committee announced that it will
spend $10 million to reach out to Hispanic, Asian, and African-American voters
– you know, to ask them not to vote." –Jimmy Fallon
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