Republicans really don’t want gays tying the knot

On Saturday Donald Trump had some unkind words for Arizona Senator John McCain. Can you imagine being tortured 5 1/2 years in a Vietnamese prison camp, and then a man whose greatest war-time accomplishment was brokering a peace treaty on "Celebrity Apprentice" between Gary Busey and Meat Loaf belittles you and calls you a loser? –Jimmy Kimmel

Rick Perry said this weekend that he believes Boy Scouts would be “better off if they didn’t have openly gay scoutmasters.” Man, between the Boy Scouts and gay marriage, Republicans really don’t want gays tying the knot. –Seth Meyers

Whoa! I think these things are magic!

Rick Perry actually said Trump is a toxic mix of demagoguery and nonsense who is unfit to be president. Then Perry took off his glasses and said, "Whoa! I think these things are magic!” —Jimmy Fallon

The dating website AshleyMadison.com, which is a site where married people go to find someone to have an affair with, was hacked yesterday and now the hackers are threatening to release information about its users. This is one way to cut down on the number of people running for president. —Jimmy Fallon

lay low for a while until this all combs over..

Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, “I like people that weren’t captured.” Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over. —Jimmy Fallon

Rick Perry said Donald Trump is unfit to be president and called for him to immediately withdraw from the race. Then he said, “And that’s coming from ME!” —Jimmy Fallon

Robots: 1, Donald Trump, 0.

Researchers here in New York created a robot that actually passed a self-awareness test. So if you're keeping score, that's robots: 1, Donald Trump, 0. —Jimmy Fallon

President Obama became the first sitting president to visit a federal prison yesterday. Obama said it was a good chance to talk about prison reform, and to catch up with so many former congressmen. —Jimmy Fallon

That’s like giving your money to a pile of money

Donald Trump’s campaign has raised about $100,000 in donations during the second quarter. Which raises an important question: Who is giving Donald Trump money? That’s like giving your money to a pile of money.—Jimmy Fallon

In a recent interview, John McCain addressed Trump’s campaign rally in Arizona and said that he just quote, “fired up the crazies.” Not to be confused with Trump’s show “Celebrity Apprentice,” where he just FIRED the crazies. —Jimmy Fallon

for a brief moment, there was some real excitement over at Fox News

Caitlyn Jenner was given the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at last night’s ESPY Awards. Caitlyn received the award for spending 24 years married to Kris Jenner.—Seth Meyers

President Obama today became the first sitting U.S. president to visit a federal prison. And for a brief moment, there was some real excitement over at Fox News. —Seth Meyers

So finally something good is going to come out of Donald Trump

A store in Houston is selling Donald Trump piñatas filled with candy. So finally something good is going to come out of Donald Trump. —Conan O’Brien

iPhone users are reporting that Siri will correct them if they try to say Bruce Jenner instead of Caitlyn. In a related story, Siri is now asking to be addressed as Steve. —Conan O’Brien