Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. (800,000 copies)

"A guy was so upset with Bristol Palin on 'Dancing With the Stars' that he shot his TV set with a shotgun. You would think a guy with a shotgun tucked between his couch cushions would be a Palin supporter." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Former President George W. Bush's new memoir has already sold 800,000 copies. In other news, the new Bush presidential library just purchased its first 800,000 books." –Conan O'Brien

"Authorities say a 67-year-old man in Wisconsin was so enraged over Bristol Palin's 'Dancing with the Stars' routine, he blasted his television with a shotgun. All I can say is I'm glad this guy doesn't have TBS." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I did it so I'd be harder to replace (That’s why I left NBC)

"President Obama was in India today. The President is touring Asia making trade deals. He signed a $10 billion pack with India this afternoon. He brokered a deal to make India part of the UN security council. And he was able to get a $15 late fee reversed on his Visa card." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Welcome to my new show it's called 'Conan'. People ask me why I named the show 'Conan.' I did it so I'd be harder to replace." –Conan O'Brien

"I just got the news that we’re already No. 1 in TBS’ key demographic: people that can’t afford HBO." –Conan O'Brien

"An exciting night. I'm really glad to be on cable. I have to tell you that right now, it's not a joke. The truth is, it probably doesn't help that I say that's not a joke afterwards. The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, I have dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46." –Conan O'Brien

"It’s not easy doing a late night show on a channel without a lot of money, that viewers have trouble finding. That’s why I left NBC." –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”