"Yesterday, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger told a Latino group if immigrants want to learn English, they should not read foreign-language newspapers. The Latino group told Arnold, 'How about you tell us how you learned English, and we'll do the opposite.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Republican presidential candidates Sam Brownback and Tom Tancredo both promised if they are elected president, they will pardon Scooter Libby. So, sorry Scooter, you are going to jail." --Conan O'Brien
"Former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey says his ex-wife's memoir is selling poorly 'cause during TV interviews she dresses badly. In response, McGreevey's ex-wife told McGreevey, 'Okay, we get it. You're gay.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Bill Clinton earned more than $10 million last year from giving speeches, but he says he gave half of it to charity. Clinton gives the other half to her sister, Tiffany." --Conan O'Brien
A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
