Ooh, a city worker! La di da, too good for village work, eh? (Well, on the bright side, I won my office pool)

"Still, an emotional highlight set the stage for the main speaker last night, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama's beautiful, accomplished, angry, communist wife. But she's just the candidate's spouse. I assume she just has to get through the speech without saying 'F*ck Whitey' (on screen: various cable pundits speaking of the need for her to prove she's 'one of y'all'). Hmm, she needs to prove she's human, eh? Well let's take a look [on screen: footage of Michelle Obama at convo]. Clearly bipedal, a chordate, she appears to have five-digit extremities and to possess sweat glands. Wait what's the weird hole in her face?! Oh my God! Oh wait, I have one too. Alright, I'll give you that you're human technically. But what about the elitist thing? [on screen: M. Obama talking about her family, and how her father who was a 'blue-collar city worker.'] Ooh, a city worker! La di da, too good for village work, eh? Didn't want to soil his lily blue-collar in the townships!" --Jon Stewart

The government has already begun handing out contracts to corporations to clean up and rebuild the country we haven't finished bombing yet. For instance, the army awarded a multi-million dollar contract to pay for extinguishing oil fires and repairing oil infrastructure. Who got it? Halliburton. Wait a minute, that name rings a bell - oh, I know, until 2000 its CEO was Dick Cheney. Cheney, that rings a bell - oh, I know, he's the vice president. Well, on the bright side, I won my office pool. –Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”