It’s gonna be a long party. Go slow. (we became a death metal metal barbershop quartet)

A lot of radio stations, they like to use a frequency number to count down the days of summer. Like FM 107 will celebrate 107 days of summer. You know AM stations can't do this. We are AM 1610 celebrating the sixteen-hundred and ten days of the next four and a half years. It’s gonna be a long party. Go slow.  —Mitch Hedberg

I was in a death metal band for seven years. But one day when we were walking out of the pawn shop we became a death metal metal barbershop quartet. —Mitch Hedberg

I live in a studio apartment. I got a sliding glass door and it has a sticker that says Warning Alarm System! It's real simple alarm - it consists of a sticker. —Mitch Hedberg

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”