It was the best minute of my life, and then the worst eleven. (The answer is simple, negligence)

I once got a hand-job from a woman with excessive-compulsive disorder. It was the best minute of my life, and then the worst eleven. --Anthony Jeselnik

I like to make jokes about tragedies that just happened. I don’t believe in too soon. I’m on a tight schedule. --Anthony Jeselnik

With all the terrible things going on in this country right now, the thing that drives me the most crazy are the people who see all this awful stuff happening and they still flip out over the little things. My biggest pet peeve in America today, are people who see all this horrible stuff going on and yet they still overreact to shit that just does not matter. For example, have you ever dropped a baby? Holy shit do people overreact. You drop a baby in America today, I swear, people hit the roof before the baby even touches the floor. And it's not a big deal. How do I know? Because I do it all the time. In fact, I don't think I've ever held a baby to completion. And you might be thinking, Anthony, how could you drop a baby? You ever held a baby? How could you not? It’s so easy. It’s a two-step process, maybe less. So why would anyone ever let you hold their baby? The answer is simple, negligence. --Anthony Jeselnik

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”