And if things escalate, I'm willing to put boobs on the ground (Congratulations! It's a man!)

The other day, a man in Minnesota got arrested, and handed the officer a Monopoly "Get out of jail free" card. Then when he got to prison, his cellmate handed him a card that said, "You won a beauty contest." –Jimmy Fallon

A woman in South Carolina just gave birth to a 14.4-pound baby boy. The doctor was like, "Congratulations! It's a man!" –Jimmy Fallon

I saw yesterday Republican senators took coach buses to the White House to meet with Trump about healthcare. You could tell which senators actually read the bill, 'cuz they were the ones buckling their seat belts. –Jimmy Fallon

Everybody's still on edge about the U.S. and Iran. I guess after Iran shot down our drone, Trump ordered a strike on them. But then he called it off, and listen to how he described it. President Trump says the United States was, quote, "cocked and loaded." Cocked and loaded? Of course, the correct phrase is "locked and loaded." Then Trump was like, "And if things escalate, I'm willing to put boobs on the ground." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”