“Here in New York, the Manhattan D.A.’s office is putting pressure on his underlings to get them to flip on the boss. Now they’re turning the screws on his former bodyguard, a guy who looks like he’d be named Matthew Calamari, Matthew Calamari.” — Stephen Colbert, referencing a criminal investigation of the Trump Organization, including top executives
“‘Matthew Calamari’ sounds like a name a cop makes up when he’s undercover at Olive Garden: [imitating police officer] ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m Matthew — Matthew Calamari, and this is my buddy, Larry Unlimited Breadsticks.’” — Stephen Colbert
“No word yet on Trump’s other bodyguards Johnny Meatballs, Vinnie Calzone and Sammy Shrimp Scampi.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Wait, giving Calamari perks in exchange for his loyalty? That is a clear ‘squid pro quo.’” —Stephen Colbert
“Calamari isn’t the only member of this breaded crime ring in trouble, because prosecutors are also investigating Calamari’s son, Matthew Calamari Jr. Like his father, Calamari Jr. hasn’t been officially charged yet, but prosecutors recently advised both men to hire lawyers. You know the world is upside down when the Calamari are ordering lawyers for the whole table.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
No comments:
Post a Comment