The internet would crash so hard it would delete itself and we’d go back to the stone age (lick every desk in the Senate chamber?)

“Rand Paul tested positive for the coronavirus. Thankfully his office said he’s feeling fine, and that’s great news. Now, we could point out the fact that Paul was the only senator to vote against the bipartisan coronavirus aid package, or the fact that he stood by an incompetent president who botched the response to this crisis and called criticism of his response a hoax. So Rand Paul thought he might have coronavirus, and he went to the gym and the pool. What else did he do – lick every desk in the Senate chamber and shake hands with the Lincoln memorial?” —Seth Meyers

“Look people, if we go back to doing nothing, the number of deaths from coronavirus could be in the millions. And the problem with these numbers sometimes is that we think of them as numbers. Think of everybody in your life: if I said to you, ‘You could lose one or two family members,’ would you be able to choose who?’ It’s not just coronavirus patients – a run on the hospitals would endanger anyone who needs medical care. The simplest way to think of it is this: you know how the internet crashes every time Kim Kardashian releases a new butt pic? Now imagine if she decided to release a hundred butt pics in one day. The internet would crash so hard it would delete itself and we’d go back to the stone age.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”