“During the debate, a Republican congressman compared Trump to Jesus. I don’t know — if Trump were Jesus, I’m pretty sure we’d have seen him turn water into Diet Coke already, right?” --Jimmy Fallon
“Really? You’re going to compare Donald Trump to Jesus Christ? May I remind you, Jesus never had to cut a check to keep Mary Magdalene quiet.” --Stephen Colbert
“These people are out of their minds. Soon, they’re going to start claiming they saw images of Trump appear in their food: ‘It was a miracle! I saw Trump’s face in a piece of toast!’” --Seth Meyers
“Even if Trump was going to be put on the cross, he would never carry it himself, he’d probably put it on the back of a golf cart.” --Trevor Noah
“So House Republicans spent the whole day being drama queens about impeachment. In fact, at one point a Republican congressman from Ohio even held — and this is completely real — a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Donald Trump, which is kind of ironic because Donald Trump would never be able to hold a moment of silence for himself.” --Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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