Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, "Hey, that's my slogan." (Quick, to the dunking tank!)

"Christine O'Donnell is the Senate candidate from Delaware who's against masturbation and has dabbled in witchcraft. She's fighting back against the charges she's a witch with a new ad in which she says, 'I'm not a witch. I'm you.' I don't think this is a good strategy because I'm crazy. I would never vote for me. Besides, it doesn't make any sense. If she's me then she masturbates constantly. And if she's me then that means she can turn herself into other people, which means she's a witch. Quick, to the dunking tank!" –Craig Ferguson

"Christine O'Donnell has a new campaign ad where she says she's not a witch. Nancy Pelosi was furious. She said, 'Hey, that's my slogan.'" –Jay Leno

"Donald Trump may run for president. Is that a good idea? Haven't enough Americans already been told, 'You're fired'?" –Jay Leno

"Well, at least there would be someone in politics with worse hair than Joe Biden." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”