The bad news? They only have eight gallons (When do I get to meet Dow Jones?)

"Congress began hearings this week on the government response to Katrina. See, I'm confused. Was there a government response to Katrina?" --Jay Leno

"In Omaha, Nebraska, they are opening what they call 'America's first terror-free gas station.' The good news? They will only sell petroleum products from countries that like us. The bad news? They only have eight gallons." --Jay Leno

Earlier today on Wall Street, President Bush visited the New York Stock Exchange. There was an awkward moment when President Bush asked, 'When do I get to meet Dow Jones?'" --Conan O'Brien

"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering a bill that would ban the sell of incandescent light bulbs. Arnold isn't worried about saving energy, he's just tired of trying to say 'incandescent.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”