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Thursday, March 1, 2018

Trump is taking a very strong stand in defense of Ryan Seacrest (Just nine of the 11)






































This afternoon, first son-in-law Jared Kushner was denied his security clearance and has lost access to top-secret intelligence. How will he fix the Middle East now?! He was so close to starting! --Stephen Colbert

Everyone at the White House with interim security clearances were told last Friday that they would be downgraded from “top secret” to “secret.” MERELY secret clearance. Which means Kushner will have access to only nine herbs and spices. Just nine of the 11. --Stephen Colbert


So far, Trump has not commented on Jared's demotion. He was too busy with his main presidential duty: live tweeting Fox News. He tweeted a bunch of stuff this morning, but one that really stood out was just two words, all caps: "WITCH HUNT!" He is either really upset about Mueller's investigation or he is taking a very strong stand in defense of Ryan Seacrest. We don't know. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.

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