According to The Washington Post, President Trump congratulated Vladimir Putin on his re-election yesterday, despite being given briefing materials prior to the call that stated specifically in all caps, "DO NOT CONGRATULATE." Trump then sat down to a delicious lunch of silica gel packets [labeled "DO NOT EAT"]. --Seth Meyers
Trump was given briefing materials stating specifically in all caps, "DO NOT CONGRATULATE." But his aides said they were not sure he read the notes. Oh, I can promise you he didn't read the notes. He also didn't read the Bible. He didn't read the Constitution. He didn't read the sign that says, "No Carts on the Green." He probably doesn't even know what it says on his own hat. And it doesn't even seem like he can read [photo of Robert Mueller] the writing on the wall. --Seth Meyers
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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