JOKES: The good news — we have six more weeks! (Hugh Jackman)

Happy Groundhog Day! I don’t know if you saw the late-breaking news, but today America’s foremost psychic rodent, Punxsutawney Phil, came out of his hole and indeed saw his shadow. So the bad news is six more weeks of winter. The good news — we have six more weeks! –Stephen Colbert

On Saturday, our president spoke with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and lashed out at Turnbull on the phone call. Please don’t pick a fight with Australia! They’ll cut off our supply of Uggs, koala jerky, and Hugh Jackman. –Stephen Colbert