"The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner
Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?"
–David Letterman
"The
Oscar telecast went smoothly. It helped that Bradley Cooper was in the balcony
with a rifle in case any of the speeches went on too long." –Jimmy Kimmel
"New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said that he is open
to letting transgender people serve in the military. He said there's no reason
to prevent people from being generals just because of their privates."
–Jimmy Fallon
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