"There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill
in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why, a network spokesperson
said, 'Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby.'" –Conan
O'Brien
"Chinese President Xi Jinping is planning to make his
first official state visit to the U.S. Although I'm worried it'll be a little
awkward when he visits a school and says, 'This factory is terrible.'"
–Jimmy Fallon
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