"That's right, 75 percent of Americans think marijuana
eventually will be legal, while the other 25 percent said, 'What, it's
illegal?'" –Seth Meyers
"President Clinton is here tonight to remind us about how
happy we used to be." –Jimmy Kimmel
"In mere minutes, President Clinton will be sitting in the
same spot once occupied by both Honey Boo Boo and Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. That
chair is going to be so confused." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Toronto's city council voted on whether to name a street
after Nelson Mandela and whether to congratulate Canada's Olympic athletes.
Both votes passed 40-1. Can you guess who that one vote against was? Rob Ford.
He now says he got the buttons confused. Come on, Toronto, how could you not
re-elect this guy? He's the best. And it's Wednesday. This is the first mistake
he's made all week." –Jimmy Kimmel
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