"A new study says that an average person's chances of
getting audited by the IRS is the lowest they've been since the 1980s. Don't
get any ideas, Willie Nelson." –Craig Ferguson
"Yesterday, North Korea held its annual marathon.
Congratulations to first, second and third place winner, Kim Jong Un."
–Conan O'Brien
"A Colorado company has introduced the first marijuana
vending machine. As a result, the vending machines around it are doing much
better." –Conan O'Brien
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