"Today the Russian hockey team lost and was knocked out of
the Olympics. People in Russia haven't been this depressed since last week."
–Conan O'Brien
"We
have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. Security's very tight
backstage. Before I came out, this one guy spent like five minutes patting me
down — and then the Secret Service showed up and said, 'Who's that guy groping
Fallon?'" –Jimmy Fallon
"A new
report just came out that some companies, especially tech companies, are not
hiring enough female employees. But guys who run tech companies say they'd love
to hire more women. Or talk to them. Or meet them. Or even see one up
close." –Jimmy Fallon
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