"I kid Texas, but the last person in that state to get
near a schoolbook was Lee Harvey Oswald." –Bill Maher
"They asked Barbara Bush, the matriarch of the family,
whether Jeb Bush should run for president, and she said, 'We've had enough
Bushes.' Enough? How about at least one too many." –Bill Maher
"It's not just a library, it's a
museum. The exhibits are breathtaking. There's a map of the world dartboard
which Bush used to decide who to invade after 9/11; there's the pants he peed
in when he was told we were under attack; the pretzel he forgot to chew that
made him pass out. And there's a weapons of mass destruction pavilion, but no
one can find it." –Bill Maher
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