"Did you see the debate last night? It was the same stuff, but here's what was different. In the first debate they were at podiums. The second debate, it was stools. Last night, chairs and desks. The next debate – yoga mats." –David Letterman
"Mitt Romney is so rich he hired extra housekeepers just to launder his money." –David Letterman
"Donald Trump announced that he will announce something big tomorrow, some very big news about President Obama. So it must be big news because it isn't like him to make a big deal out of something that isn't news." –Jimmy Kimmel
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