He says if he's elected president he will also consider hunting vampires

"Over the weekend President Obama issued an order that allows some illegal immigrants to stay in the country. Or as Fox News reported it, 'Obama issues order allowing himself to stay in the country.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Last night on the premiere of a new reality show, Bristol Palin confronted a man in a bar and demanded to know why he hates her mother. In response, John McCain said 'Leave me alone, I'm having a drink.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Mitt Romney's picking up a head of steam. He's roaring and ready to go. He says if he's elected president he will also consider hunting vampires." –David Letterman



John Hulse painting