"Today is Ann and Mitt Romney's 43rd wedding anniversary. This means that 43 years ago Mitt proposed to his wife and due to a weak field of candidates, she said yes." –Conan O'Brien
"John McCain's daughter Megan is going to be in the April issue of Playboy. I'm just glad John's not alive to see this." –David Letterman
"This weekend President Obama will visit the border that separates North and South Korea. Not to be outdone, Newt Gingrich will visit the border that separates the KFC from the Taco Bell." –Jimmy Fallon
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