There’s even going to be a maid in charge of polishing it

"It's the first day of fall, or as the Republicans call it, 'the end of global warming.'" –Jay Leno



"The last Republican debate was sponsored by Google. I think Google can really help. We should run a Google search for some better candidates." –Jay Leno 

"Perry said he didn't do well in the debates because he was exhausted. Sure, he's exhausted from executing all those people." –David Letterman



"Arnold Schwarzenegger has commissioned an 8-foot bronze sculpture of himself. There’s even going to be a maid in charge of polishing it." –Jimmy Fallon