They couldn't fit all eight of them in the bouncy house

"The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn't fit all eight of them in the bouncy house." –Conan O'Brien



"People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida." –Conan O'Brien 



"The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be cleaning oil off ducks." –Conan O'Brien



John Hulse painting