"Sarah Palin said that if a deal isn't reached by Aug. 2, nothing will happen. Do you hear that, award-winning economists?" –Jimmy Kimmel
"After two weeks in the theaters, the documentary about Sarah Palin called 'Undefeated' ...not doing well...barely made $100,000. I'm not saying Sarah Palin's movie is a bomb, but today Al Qaeda tried to take credit." –Jay Leno
"New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was rushed to the hospital when he felt he couldn't breathe. Doctors said the condition is called 'living in New Jersey.'" –Jay Leno
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