I'm not saying Sarah Palin's movie is a bomb, but today...

"Sarah Palin said that if a deal isn't reached by Aug. 2, nothing will happen. Do you hear that, award-winning economists?" –Jimmy Kimmel 

"After two weeks in the theaters, the documentary about Sarah Palin called 'Undefeated' ...not doing well...barely made $100,000. I'm not saying Sarah Palin's movie is a bomb, but today Al Qaeda tried to take credit." –Jay Leno



"New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was rushed to the hospital when he felt he couldn't breathe. Doctors said the condition is called 'living in New Jersey.'" –Jay Leno



The movie will be shown in English, with English subtitles

"Last night, I got Chinese food and the fortune cookie said, 'Where's my money?'" –Craig Ferguson



"Sarah Palin's documentary, 'The Undefeated,' will be available on Pay-Per-View and On Demand by Sept. 1. The movie will be shown in English, with English subtitles." –Jimmy Fallon



"There's still no deal on this stupid debt ceiling. Each party is pursuing its own special plan. One calls for the American people to get hosed. The other calls for the American people to get screwed. So you pick out which one you want to do." –Jay Leno



John Hulse painting