"New Jersey governor Chris Christie was released from the hospital today. Good news. I guess he had some blockage or something. He told reporters he feels "fabulous." When Michele Bachman's husband heard that, he said, "We have a clinic that can cure you of that! We can fix that." –Jay Leno
"Some big election news. It's rumored that Sarah Palin will announce her presidential campaign at a Labor Day rally in Iowa. Palin has a great speech planned — she's like, 'We have to do this as a team! Remember, there is no 'I' in Iowa!'" –Jimmy Fallon
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