he had help making his uniform from a bunch of singing mice and birds (I have to take the boot blacks word for it)

I've never gotten a decent explanation as to why Popeye the Sailor Man lost his eye. —Norm Macdonald

I don't know if this counts as an NCAA Cinderella story but one of the Marquette players said he had help making his uniform from a bunch of singing mice and birds. —Norm Macdonald

Hey news media leave Kim Kardashian alone will you. She's pregnant, of course she's gonna she's going to gain weight. And if anyone knows about rapid weight gain it's me. You know I went to see the doctor about it and he told me to open my mouth and say oink. —Norm Macdonald

I'm so fat when I get my shoes shined I have to take the boot blacks word for it. —Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You can map mine for a lot less (Failure to Launch)

April 2013

"Tensions continue to mount in this North Korea situation. The U.S. has moved a Navy warship off the coast of the Korean Peninsula. Is that going to scare the North Koreans? If you really want to scare them, don't send a warship. Send a Carnival cruise ship." –Jay Leno

"This week, President Obama announced a $100 million initiative to map the human brain. Joe Biden said, 'You can map mine for a lot less.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Right now there are two Kims in the news. There's Kim Jong-Un, who's the leader of North Korea, and then there's Kim Kardaishian, the reality star who's having a baby with Kanye West. It can be kind of tough to keep track of who's who. Kim Kardashian's life is like a roller coaster; Kim Jong-Un isn't tall enough to ride one. Kim Kardashian's favorite movie is called Failure to Launch; Kim Jong-Un's nuclear program is called Failure to Launch." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”